How to buy that one (red) dress
instantly ignite the inner flame of his imagination
without considering his furniture repair skills.
Every woman should own one. That one weapon-of-mass-seduction (Red) DRESS that gets her attention that she absolutely loves and her partner hates – because he doesn’t care about sharing her with the world. That DRESS makes him wish that the room was non-populated at the moment.
You need to apply the uncanny genius of your creativity to wear such a DRESS. To ease your thought process when selecting it, I created a list of all elements that the DRESS should encompass. Read through it carefully and apply it before you pay for this triggering and promising garment. Btw, the price is irrelevant – high or low – the impact will tell you if you invested well. I will address all dress selection related aspects one by one because ALL of them are crucial for their own reasons. It’s THE dress, remember? Every single diabolical detail matters since you are aiming for perfection here. If you look magnetic his imagination works on full speed.
Your intention is simple – to make him stop doing whatever he is doing and get his complete and undivided attention from the moment he spots you. (A carefully selected double-purpose colour – get noticed & seduce) will take care of this. I will elaborate on the role of a colour further down the text). Once that happens, maintain eye contact. Smile, subtly. You may need to collect his jaw from the floor and place it where it belongs. Consider this small action of compassion as fulfilling the first part of the mission – YOU are the only person that occupies his mind.
A. As they say, timing is everything. No matter what kind of relationship you are in right now, THIS kind of (Red) dress is a signal.
In a long time monogamous relationship is says: I am still interested, VERY interested because I love everything we have built together. Let’s celebrate it!
If you live with the same partner, but you have an agreement that it is ok to colour outside the lines, the DRESS says: You are the best and I want you to know it. Are you up for a challenge?
When you just test the waters with someone new but you feel that, perhaps, tonight is the night when you are ready to check the depth of those waters, the DRESS will make it abundantly clear he can make the move because you have just given him permission.
B. On a more detailed scale, when you have plans to see a play, visit your parents, or have dinner with friends, don’t blame him for making you look untidy or being late. Or blame him but let him make you look untidy and/or late.
I have created a board on the topic in Pinterest, where I share ideas on dresses and shoes and everything that is listed and described further down the line. https://www.pinterest.ca/stylesaviour1/red-dress-etc/ Why separately? Two reasons: 1. I wanted to save your cartridge in your printer in case you print everything you want to read like I do. 2. I wanted you to have a thorough visual experience once you read the whole guide.
The goal of wearing this dress is to satisfy all of his 5 senses, and this is important – one by one! Step by step. Like unwrapping a craftily wrapped present. And then score, of course! Ideally, the DRESS situation will develop according to this scenario: 1. He spotted you. 2. He is pleasantly surprised. Very pleasantly surprised. 3. He stops thinking about everything else. You just became his priority. 4. He comes to you. His eyes are on his prize – YOU. 5. He smells your alluring scent. 5a. He may or may not ask for your consent to come ‘closer’ or kiss you. That depends on his temperament, your relationship, and the time you haven’t seen/kissed each other. 6. He touches you – the fabric of your dress. That’s why a good quality soft material is essential. It enhances his experience and motivates him to explore the territory of your body further. 7. He is fervently thinking about the physical transport of your person to the nearest flat, possibly horizontal, surface. 8. He hears the quiet shhhh the fabric makes. 9. He starts unwrapping his present because all his senses are teased enough to make him want more. 10. Give him more. But first things first. In order to get to the last point there is a number of things that need your particular brand of attention.
Every fragment, every molecule of your being should be aligned with that DRESS you wear. This is about the moment of surprise and the overall impression you will create and he will never forget. You want the vision of you engraved inside his scull in Braille so that his memory cells can easily reach out in the moment of need or just to refresh his mind in case of some sort of ‘interference’ as a gentle reminder of your existence and your status in his life.
The DRESS must be of a style that HE finds sexy. Unless you absolutely hate what he considers irresistible (in which case: Why are you together?), accommodate his aesthetics while staying true to yourself. Let me explain: Let’s say you are a minimalist and he likes frills and various embellishments you can live without on a daily basis. Well, this is NOT a daily basis situation, and you are a woman on a mission. Find an ideal middle ground but remember that you have to feel absolutely comfortable and immensely attractive. On the other hand, trying new styles never hurts. Who knows? You might find your alter ego.
Now, let get physical.
Teasing can be flow-y or fitted. Short or long. Fully covered front and a completely naked back. Long sleeves or sleeveless. It depends on your physique and current shape. However, ahem…, it should be easy to remove. Preferably in a very elegant manner without creating a mop formation on your head. Again, he should feel like he conquered the fort with a single pull, while keeping his sword ready.
No time for complicated knots, hidden zippers, and hooks that will get tangled in his hair. Or yours. 28 buttons can look effective but in situations like this they look like work. Keep the number of buttons under 10 or even five. It will give him enough to play with and come closer, slowly, one by one, yet he will get instant gratification when the last one is unbuttoned.
As per the dress itself, focus on your best body feature and his favorite part of you. Well, his favourite part of you sounds like a butchery or too simple as they all go for our upper chest so let’s say that you have very long legs. Contrary to possible expectations, I will not tell you to wear a short dress. I will tell you to wear a long flowing dress with a transparent skirt. Anything from knee-length down.
Men love mysteries! Give him one.
Let’s say you are on the shorter side. In this case I would focus on elongating your body. Create a long vertical line. Speaking of lines, for the love of God please do not wear thick horizontal stripes. Please don’t. Promise?
And what if you have spherical shape? Vertical and diagonal illusions are your friends.
There is too much to cover so I created a brand new masterclass on the topic: Style Saviour to forgive you all your shopping and dressing sins and answer all your image prayers. It’s like reading 50 excellent books on colour, style, and personality packed in two hours. That will be your style lesson on steroids.
I could write a book on the topic! (As a matter of fact, I am writing a book on the topic.) But if there is anything that could spoil the whole impression, this is it. Color is the backbone of your success here. And anywhere else. Why?
Nothing can compensate for wearing the wrong colour.
People see colours first and they create an immediate emotional response to it. This tiny sequel of events happens subconsciously and in mere milliseconds! Therefore, his immediate emotional response must not only be a positive one but predominantly extremely narrowly focused – how phenomenal you look in that colour!
a.) The colour must not overpower you. It is not about the dress, it is about YOU in that DRESS! If he compliments you on the dress it leaves you with only two options: 1. He doesn’t know how to compliment a woman. 2. You blew it – that colour does overpower you. The goal is to get a compliment like: “When I saw you in that dress…” or “You look stunning/alluring/mesmerizing in that that dress…” although “You look stunning” is perfectly sufficient because it is all inclusive assuming you have done an excellent styling job.
b.) The colour must not decrease the level of his ‘appetite’. This is not really the best time for experimenting with too complex non-descriptive colours. He must not be confused. Men are colour confused enough already. Not to mention that about a good 8% of them have some form of colour vision deficiency. That’s the truth of it. Every 12th man is colourblind. To avoid disappointment of not receiving his praise for your aspiration, in may not hurt to very gently test his ability to recognize various shades of red or the red colour per se beforehand, especially if you do not know each other so much in depth.
c.) The colour must not make you look unhealthy – too pale, too red, too yellow, too wrinkly, too wrong. Yes, that’s possible and the list of negative consequences of wearing the wrong colour goes on. This is neither the time nor the space to explain it in detail. I have created a four module course with over 20 individual lessons on the topic. Yes, colour for image and branding is a vast topic to explore if you want to master it. Then it’s easy. Perhaps, now is the best time to explain the brackets in the title. This may easily be the most important part of this entire epic post. Fact: Not everybody looks good in the same tint, tone or shade of red. Fact: Not everybody look good in RED. Period. Besides, your goal is to look tantalizing! Good in not acceptable in this endeavor. Leave that for your errands or trip to the bank explaining your late payments.
You must get your RED right. It should make your face glow.
If you are not sure how many colours still qualify as red without looking the same and definitely having the same effect on your skin, here are few possible variations of Red colour: Bright Red, Dark Red, Blue Red, Orange Red, Red Orange, Tomato Red, Watermelon Red, Cerise (Cherry Red), Raspberry, Strawberry, Magenta, Fuchsia, Burgundy… Select YOUR best red!
Lipstick Colour Another thing to consider. Let me ask you a question: Does he like when you wear lipstick? Well, that was easy. Now the hard part: Does he mind eating it? You see, some men, while they admire the physical beauty of women wearing full makeup would not come close to a freshly painted face. More on the topic later. Now we need to sort the lipstick question because I am a firm believer that a red dress should be worn with red lips. Ideally you just bite them shortly before you suddenly appear in his office, room, apartment, doorstep… Or he in yours. An average lipstick wearing woman consumes about 3 kg of lipstick over her lifetime. Yuck! If you cannot get a single piece of super healthy kale into his digestive system, do not expect him to devour your lipstick, no matter how meticulously applied. At any rate, your lips should match or complement the colour of your dress so he sees the connection and gets the hint. Aim for your best red. Not just any best red, or the red a sales person recommends. YOUR best red! How do you know it’s your best red? Well, ideally you take my Color Breakthrough course so you will KNOW but if time is of the essence and you need to transport your internal organs intact in your body into his place, wherever that may be, just use your best lip gloss or honey (if he is not allergic to it). Word of advice: check how to remove honey stains from your dress beforehand. You are welcome.
Nail Polish Not essential but can enhance the whole visual impact. Once again, no time for extra bold colours. Ideally, you will go with a very similar (if not the same – if you can find it) red colour as your dress. Do not try to match your nail polish to your lipstick at all cost as the result might not fulfill your expectations. A mild difference in tone (e.g. warm red vs. cool red) can be disturbing. Metallic might work as a brilliant alternative and super reliable neutral colour, esp. if it matches your sandals (later – down the text). This is important: your hands may or may not look like the skin on your face. It depends on your blood circulation. If that’s the case, opt for anything natural looking – light pastel pink if you have prevailing yellow pigment in your skin, or icy pink, if your natural colouring is more on the cooler side. On the other hand, a French manicure NEVER disappoints. It’s like diamonds –suitable for every outfit for any event. White or green nails might make you look like a Christmas themed ornament, so nah! For the sake of simplicity, I would encourage you to use the same nail polish up and down. The more you streamline the colour scheme the more you harness the energy in the room and in his mind. Oh, don’t be silly! This is far from dark mind control conspiracy. You are simply and plainly redirecting his thoughts. There is nothing wrong with that!
Makeup Generally speaking – apply some. Mascara itself can do wonders for your face because it enhances your eyes. Shaping your eyebrows can create a nice frame of your face. We have already covered your lips above so I will go straight to the blush. Use it sparingly but use some. Minimal colour with maximal toning. Skip the foundation altogether. I know it sounds counterproductive – you want to look your best – but trust me. Colours have a phenomenal effect on your appearance. Most people have no idea, but the right colour of your dress can eliminate most imperfections on your face – blemishes, tiny lines, and other invisible dots that only you can see in that horrifying magnifying mirror. Not to mention you want to taste like you, not like an extract of a chemical factory. By the way, have you ever tasted your foundation? Don’t. But don’t let him taste it either. Your moisturizing cream will do as a chemical dose high enough.fabrics – silk, pima cotton, cashmere or lightweight wool mixed with high quality polyester can set the atmosphere and make him touchy-feely in no time.
To stimulate his senses of hearing and touch, make sure the fabric feels smooth and soft to give him a pleasant tactile experience and it makes that underlining gentle sound when you walk or when he moves the fabric while fondling your behind. Discover advantages of blended fabrics – silk, pima cotton, cashmere or lightweight wool mixed with high quality polyester can set the atmosphere and make him touchy-feely in no time.
Nothing extravagant will serve you better than anything. This is not a fashion show, this is a different kind of a show and you do not need to stand out from the crowd. You are wearing Red! If you absolutely love patterns I would recommend staying within the colour palette and go for either a texture or a monochromatic (various tones of one colour – your red) colour scheme.
If you happen to own a pair of beautifully shaped slim legs up to here, and you consider them your best body feature (I would), by all means wear noticeable sandals; especially if your dress is on the minimalistic side of the affair – let’s say a nightie kind of a thing – to make it abundantly clear that it IS a dress. Also, if you are a dramatic style personality and it’s just who you are all over. Why sandals? While they are not mandatory, sandals can indicate that ease he will feel seeing your feet slightly revealed. A perfect pedicure, however, is mandatory. This is when suitably chosen nail polish will help. Even though anything red, black, or nude would work fine, I would suggest to ‘upgrade’ and find a lovely metallic shade of YOUR red. Also, anything alongside (metallic) pewter, (metallic) charcoal, (metallic) gunmetal, (metallic) copper, (metallic) rose gold, (metallic) gold, (metallic) silver and such, based on your natural colouring, can do wonders. From what I have read and heard, mules, flip-flops, even sling-backs can make or break the deal. It certainly wouldn’t hurt to ask him what he likes in that department beforehand to dazzle him when the time comes.
Do not wear anything uncomfortable that would prevent you from walking like a gazelle.
When you get that dress, accessorize it but be extra selective. There is no need to adorn yourself with jewels that will take forever to take off. If there is a situation when less is more, this is exactly it. Keep it simple so he can help you remove it from your neck, while feeling skillful and coming one step closer to the entrance of heaven. You know your guy so if he has trouble controlling his err… emotions and you expect back breaking, furniture destroying sex right off the bat, perhaps it would be smart to skip the accessories altogether, otherwise you might get strangled without him noticing it. That depends on how attentive to your fee… …dback he is in general.
Not mentioning the unmentionables would be a terrible mistake in this context. Even though this is not typically a part of my advice, unless it is a special event dress, of course, I feel the need to complete the dressing part of my guide. So he is past the main gate but there is still one more invigorating battle to win. You know him so you know if no bra or no err … bottom is a winning solution in this game. The absence of both might be an unexpected fast action bonus for him. Or not. What I want to focus on here, however, is the compliance with the dress in terms of smooth lines. Make sure not a single stich on your undergarments is missing, there are no threads lingering from your lingerie, and whatever you are wearing fits you like a glove. Speaking of hands, he is getting closer and ALL his senses are on overdrive. If not earlier, now is the time to raise the portcullis so he can feel like a winner. Texture can be particularly appreciated to satiate his fifth sense. Some men are into flowers and lace, while others prefer rigging. Focus on the aesthetics but do not let the complicated function stay in your way when it is time and /or will to remove it. As un-poetic as it may sound, practicality will pay off tenfold. Colourwise, this is as personal as it can get. You can go with nude; I mean the nude colour – YOUR nude colour – whatever it is, so it makes it invisible underneath the DRESS. However, do make sure there is something for him to enjoy – a subtle pattern, tiny embellishments, or incredibly soft fabric of bronze/honey/dark chocolate/gold colour. No matter how perfectly shaping spandex can be, stay away from Bridget Jones moment at all costs! You can go with a contrasting black to enhance the visual experience. There were several studies done on colour among men and all of them confirm that men find women wearing red the most attractive. Black comes close second. They tested them with women wearing T-shirts, for goodness sake! Can you imagine what it can do to him – for him/for you – seeing you in your red or black tempting intimates?
Where was I? Oh, ALL his sensory experiences are fully fulfilled. It would be a shame to miss this opportunity. Stay away from strong or heavy scents. Select something light and semi-sweet, something fresh and use it sparingly. There is one scent that is yours and that wakes up the animal (in the most positive sense imaginable) in him. But that can be just a smidge enhanced by something that will tickle his human aesthetic sense. Just one strategically placed drop of perfume in your hair can (and will) make him appreciate your thoughtfulness and feel like he just entered heaven.
I have repeatedly asked men what they appreciate the most about women’s looks. Here are a few of their thoughts that fit the mode of this article. – The ways she carries herself – Her confidence and her smile – Her eyes and her smile – Her smile and her scent – Her aura and scent – If she looks like she takes care of herself, yet isn’t over the top or vain My favourite is this one: “Every so often I see the essence of feminine enchantment incarnated in such a way that my masculinity itself trembles at the works of God Almighty… It trembles and would want to say to her without rebuke: “I have no armor left. You stripped it from me. Whatever is left of me… Whatever is left of me, whatever I am… I’m yours.” This would be one of those times.” Chris Amaro This is what you are, after all, in your dress! The key words being: essence, scent, smile… To achieve that you need to FEEL confident, you need to FEEL like smiling, and seduce him with a slight movement of your eyebrow.
Your outfits are only as effective as the confidence you wear them with.
SO when you find the man and the DRESS that you feel should be in your life, wear it to ignite his imagination and count your blessings. Yours in style, Karolina